The narcissistic pervert is trendy. We see it everywhere, we hear it everywhere, and it even has its little acronym: PN. Why is it masculine? Can a woman be a narcissistic perverse? If so, why is it so discreet? Investigation with Marcel Sanguet, author of “The pervert is not who we think”.
Girard sisters, authors of the successful humor guide The perfect woman is a bitch, had noted the trend of PN, volume 2, rule n ° 9: “We will stop constantly thinking that we are surrounded by perverse narcissists.“By reading articles about him, the PN has gained weight: we see him everywhere, all the time, and as soon as a man acts askew, he can only be perverse narcissist. Too bad, men are sometimes simply clumsy or divested (or idiots and that’s it.) To reframe the pervert and no longer stick this label to the first comer, Marcel Sanguet, author of The pervert is not who we think, gives us a brief and precise definition: “We will consider perverse someone very little embarrassed by the desire of the other and using it to his own satisfaction, someone who could avoid confronting doubt, anxiety, lack by using the other as an object of completeness.“But does this definition have a gender?
Back on a trend
According to Marcel Sanguet, our society adores the notion of narcissistic pervert for at least two reasons: first, he is described as a being with extraordinary power, living only for his pleasure and his success, which is the exact injunction of the discourse on the development of positive psychologies of the moment. In other words, it is fascinating (and who does not like to feed on a slightly sadomasochistic story either?). Then, and most importantly, “the evil one is designated as the figure of evil, so he clears all the others, notes the expert. Very practical to have some on hand to justify our misfortunes and our failures.“Should we conclude that the PN seems exclusively male because men, them, would not need to justify their romantic failures or would not do it out loud?
The silence of some makes the discretion of some
“It is still often men who hold positions of power, at work and at home. A typically feminine masochism would exist? I do not believe it“, continues Marcel Sanguet when we wonder about the role of the woman, most often victim in this affair of PN. But the expert reacts:”Some men are subjected to women who manipulate them. But curiously this situation is rarely mentioned. Extremely jealous women, humiliating their partner while knowing not to be left, there are just as many.“Would the men simply be little talkative? And since they were not told that the PN woman was everywhere, do they sometimes identify their relationship as perverse? From what to conclude that the silence of some makes the discretion of others … that exist.
Beware of the sleeping woman
Sex does not change the mechanisms of perversion in any way: perverse men and women act in the same way. “Everyone should be told to be wary of the temptation to opt for the perverse proposition that ensures completeness (do more than one by two, ‘yes but which one?’ Added Woody Allen). The perverse proposition guarantees the link to the detriment of everyone’s freedom, it is attractive because it is reassuring in the face of separation anxiety specific to humans.“, explains Marcel Sanguet.”Finally, continues the expert, what would sexuality be without a touch of perversion? A mode of animal reproduction like the others. So all perverts?“